Is it me, or has it been a rough year? I woke up this morning recovering from yet another traumatic experience and, before getting out of bed took a casual, mental inventory of my life in 2012…
JANUARY: Car totaled due to water damage, the result of negligence on the part of my insurance company.
FEBRUARY – APRIL: Eliminated shithead friend from my life. Waged battle against my insurance company.
APRIL: Lost the battle.
MAY – JULY: Waged battle against the State Insurance Commission.
JULY: Lost the battle. Furnace crapped out. Stress of a personal nature.
JULY – OCTOBER: Eliminated second shithead friend from my life. Poured body and soul into a stressful, high-risk project.
OCTOBER: Project failed. House insurance canceled due to a crumbling chimney. Repaired chimney with money owed to furnace guy. Ran out of money.
NOVEMBER: A busy month. Book rejected by two agents. Book rejected by publisher. Water heater burst and flooded basement. No money to replace water heater. Got stopped on highway and learned my registration and plates had been canceled – in August and October, respectively. More stress of a personal nature. Eliminated yet another shithead friend from my life. Got stopped a second time. Speeding ticket. And a partridge in a pear tree.
DECEMBER: Another ongoing battle and it doesn’t look good. More stress of a personal nature. Still water in the basement, still no money, book still not sold. Out of friends. And it’s only the 5th. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…